lemme tell you 'bout my best friend (part quattro)

Part 4 in a 5 part series.

How to move your best friends girlfriend to a new city, and live to laugh about it.

Fast forward again if you will to May 2005. We are now just about a year away from graduation. Joanna, who attended a normal college in California, is preparing for her own graduation and big move to Boston. When she arrives our apartment will be full. Yes Ari, Tim and I are now living together.

Memorial Day weekend, Ari, Tim and I pack up and fly down to Maryland for the weekend, how exciting!! On Sunday we are driving back to Boston with most of Joanna's possessions. Don't worry. I am still very excited. The weekend was phenomenal. We went to see the Orioles play in Camden Yards, we hung out at the Baltimore Harbor (where I sent a postcard to myself and made everyone sign it). We drove a little bit around DC and went bowling in Bethesda. We ate dinner with Ari's mom and brother, and dog Meadow... who frequently had her paws on the table. I finally got to meet Joanna's parents and her wonderful kitty, who even got a long with Timmy!

On the way back we had a very interesting brunch in Chevy Chase, where we had to wait FOREVER to get a table, and then wound up outside, which wasn't too bad. Except the wind was horrendous that day. It was nice and warm though, so we didn't mind too much. We just anchored down and enjoyed our pancakes.

Finally on the rode, only about an hour or so behind schedule, we decide to stop at the IKEA nearby. WHO THE FCUK STOPS AT IKEA ON MEMORIAL DAY WEEKEND! We were naive and the Ikea wasn't open up here in Stoughton yet. We're finally done and in the parking lot. Ari brings around the huge SUV that he rented for the day for the drive. Of course, we had way to much stuff now and not everything was going to fit. Joanna had just gotten this really nice chair, very similar to a papasan, with a nice and comfortable cushion. Ari and Tim concluded that if we took the cushion out and tied it on the roof of the car that there would be plenty of room for everything. After a lot of convincing and reassurance that it would be fine, Ari ran back into Ikea and got some twine, and he and Tim each took a side of the SUV and securely tied the cushion to the roof.

And we're off. Onto 95 north, Ari is driving, Jo is in the passenger seat and Tim and I are in the back. The plastic was still on the cushion, so you could hear it wooshing around. Boy it was loud, but hey it was there. Probably a good 30 minutes of driving and all of a sudden the wooshing sound is gone. Ari decides that it is probably a good idea to pull over to the side of the road. The conversation that followed was pretty hilarious (maybe not at the time):

Ari: Uh. We've got a problem.
Jo: What??
Me: Oh no.
Tim: ::stunned::
Ari: The cushion is gone!
Jo: WHAT! What do you mean gone?
Ari: It's gone. It must have flown off the roof!
Me: Oh no.
Tim: ::stunned::
Jo: Someone must not have tied it tight enough.
Tim: My side is still knotted to the car. Ari it's your side that came loose.
Me: Oh no.
Tim: When did the wooshing sound stop?
Me: I don't know I just noticed it a few minutes ago.
Jo: What do you mean it's not on the roof!!!!?
Ari: Tim, walk with me to go look for it.
Tim: Giddy Up.

So Jo and I are definitely not laughing, yet. Tim and Ari walk on the shoulder of the highway for about 15 minutes, probably a half mile back the way we came. They see cars swerving out of the middle lane. It's the cushion. Being run over, flattened, and basically causing a mess in the middle of I-95 North, somewhere near Baltimore.

Tim: Are we seriously going to run into the middle of this major roadway to get this thing?
Ari: Shrugs.**

**Now I wasn't there when this conversation occurred. Remember I am still back in the car with Joanna. So everything that I will tell you about this part of the story is all here say from Tim and Ari. Which makes it even better. But I can bet that they were laughing, because if not they were probably crying.

By now a Maryland State Trooper has shown up and has stopped traffic and pulled the cushion to the left hand shoulder. He sees Ari and Tim standing across the highway and yells, "Did you leave this here?" (This part of the story always makes me die laughing). Yes officer, we left it there on purpose and now we want it back please.

Ari: Not on purpose. It fell off the roof of my car.
Trooper: Do you want it back?
Ari: Um, no thanks.

So they "walk the green mile" back to the car where a very calm, but very angry Joanna awaits.
They tell us the story that I have just told you, and while she is angry, she just laughs. I mean what else can you do. In fact we all had a good laugh. We still do have a good laugh.

But the ride must continue. I take the wheel somewhere after the New Jersey border. We stop for dinner at my dad's house in Staten Island. Really good BBQ and some laughs. I drive to about Westchester and then Tim takes us all the way back to Boston.


My Dad: Didn't you tell me you had to tie something to the roof?
Me: Don't ask.
My Dad: When did you loose it?
Me: Somewhere near Delaware I think.
My Dad: ::examining the twine:: Looks like someone didn't tie the knot correctly....