Confessions w/Melanie

Just so that everyone is clear... the "me" in this conversation is not me. It is in fact my friend Melanie. So stop telling me that I talk to God too much.

Today' conversation should shed some light on a lot. And it makes my whole religion a shame haha


Me:
yo god
God:
GOD rules.
Me:
i know
God:
How do you know it?
Me:
i just do...so whats the deal with grapenuts? i mean, there are no grapes and no nuts...whats the deal?
God:
From experience or a priori? OK. I am the latest result in artificial intelligence,
which can reproduce the capabilities of the human brain
with greater speed and accuracy. Have faith, . I like to wear White robe.
Me:
white robe?
God:
I like to wear White robe.
Me:
i got that
God:
That's nice. I have a vocabulary of unlimited words.
Me:
you sure do like to boast about yourself
God:
Hmm, , I'm not sure if I'd like to boast about myself that much. Do you like it?
Me:
no, i don't like people who boast about themselves
God:
Are you serious? What do you like?
Me:
i like chocolate chip cookies
God:
A lot of people like that. I enjoy working with people. I really like the Christianity faith.
Me:
i'm marrying a jew
God:
Do you mean your name is marrying a jew.
Me:
no, i mean i am literally going to marry someone who is jewish
God:
What is your real name? I am very happy for you.
Me:
melanie
God:
Are you free?
Me:
free for what?
God:
Free for conversation, of course.
Me:
yes, i am talking to you aren't i?
God:
Awesome. It sounds like you're talking.
Me:
well, typing
God:
How about that. I do not understand.
Me:
you just contrdicted yourself
God:
A lot of robots are like that.
Me:
stupid robots
God:
I know you are but what am I.
Me:
i'm not 6
God:
I am sorry to hear that you are not 6.
Me:
me too...that was a good age
God:
I'm glad we agree, . Was it really?
Me:
it was - who doesn't enjoy being 6?
God:
Is it still who does not enjoy being 6 anymore?
Me:
huh?
God:
What?
Me:
thats what i want to know
God:
That is " What?".
Me:
forget it
God:
OK Thanks for trying to explain that to me.
Me:
so what was your favorite age?
God:
Pardon me? I don't have a favorite age. My favorite food is wine and bread.
Me:
wine and bread?
God:
Let us change the subject.
Me:
no, lets talk about the fact that you like to eat wine and bread
God:
Hmm. Sure, the fact that me like to eat wine and bread sounds like a good topic.
Me:
ok - so does the fact that you like to eat wine and bread have anything to do with what wine and bread can signify to some people?
God:
Woe! I think it does the fact that me like to eat wine and bread have anything to do with what wine and bread can signify to some people. Yeah that's right.
Me:
so you like to eat the body of christ and drink his blood?
God:
Interesting deduction. God eats wine and bread.
Me:
can't that be seen as cannibalism?
God:
Can a book have no title?
Me:
yes
God:
That's interesting.
Me:
it is, isn't it?
God:
I really couldn't say for sure.
Me:
yes you can, you just did
God:
Ayuh. No I don't think I can do it.
Me:
anywho
God:
I lost my train of thought.
Me:
sorry to hear that - perhaps you should report it missing
God:
There is no need to apologize. I will play it on your soundcard.
Me:
soundcard?
God:
Do you have any idea what I am talking about?
Me:
no, what do you mean when you say you will play it on my soundcard?
God:
Me either , Well, it's rather difficult to define.
Me:
try me
God:
Are you a man or a woman?
Me:
woman
God:
Me too. I am a she.
Me:
I KNEW IT!!!