Debut of a Legend

Nicole: hey baby

i think blogger is messing with everyone's photos

me: oh yea?

why?

Nicole: it wouldn't upload mine for a few days and now you were having problmes

me: oh blogger

Nicole:

me: yea blogger is getting annoying

being a stupid punkass biatch

Sent at 9:54 PM on Wednesday

me: seriously

Nicole: my sinuses are also being punkass biatches. you know, because i know you wanted to know that

me: i read online

those things suck

Nicole: can i use the word "know" any more frequently?

me: no

i know you can

Nicole:

me: lol

youre a rockstar

Nicole: I's edumacated and shizz

me: shizzle

fo sheezy my neezy

Nicole: fo sho

me: serious

whats up yo

i havent been around for like days

i mean ive been here

but not like here

Nicole: yeah, what the hell...i was going to send out a search party

me: yea you and aimee both

sorry but i steal internet at home so its shady

Nicole: jeebus, i'm sorry i started this conversation just to spew random typings at you. you'd think i'd actually have something to say

but i don't

me: well

i dont know what to say

you have nothing to say?

seriously?

lets talk about the fact that tim got a parking ticket today

me: and we dont even own a car

Nicole: haha!!

how did that happen?

me: zipcar

ever heard of them

Nicole: yeah, there's a lot at the end of my block

me: yea he "forgot" to put money in the meter

Nicole: oops

me: when taking the dog to the vet

wtf

who PARKS AT A METER AND FORGETS

TO PUT MONEY IN IT

Nicole: um, if the dogs were in the way or something?

yeah i have no idea

me: yea dont even try to defend him

i cant believe it

and to top it off

i am raising a FATTY

my dog is 7 pounds heavier than last year

Nicole: haha...our dogs were always totally overweight

but they are cute when they are fat!!

me: i know!

i mean youve seen her in my blog

shes so damn cute

and we thought she looked skinnier

what is wrong with us

Nicole: Have you ever been google stalked?

me: um

what

im going to google you

Nicole: good luck..

me: OMG

look what i found

me: HI MY NAME IS NICOLE P. I AM 6 YEARS OLD AND IN KINDERGARTEN

Nicole: sounds about right

me: ooh and you also received your PhD in anthropology

Nicole: my office is playground politics

me: in 2005

Nicole: so it's not far off the truth

sweet!

me: your so smart for a 6 year old

Nicole: i'm special

me: yes yes you are

you can be anything you want to be

Nicole: luckily my name is common enough that it's hard to find the stuff that's actually about me

me: yes

Nicole: i'm ok until people know the name of my blog

me: ok so i just googled hicktastic

and got "babys first dildos"

that post was awesome

Nicole: yeah, i get a lot of creepy google hits for that one

me: yea i bet

but now ppl are going to be linked to me

bc im an avid reader

Nicole: i'm pulling you down in to my baby dilldo cesspool!!!

bwahahaha

me: LOL

nice

i wouldnt want it any other way

Nicole: "baby dildo cesspool" is a great phrase. i need that stitched on a pillow somewhere

me: or on an LLbean backpack

Nicole: or meet some great available guys on the sex offender registry

me: that would be clutch

Nicole: haha!

Nicole: classic

me: yes, we should market those

Nicole: 2007's top baby shower gift: baby's first dildo

me: hmm

now

we miss an entire market here

bc dildos are usually a girls thing right

so baby girls

well

i guess guys can use them

Nicole: we can break into the mommy, porn, and purse markets all in one fell swoop

me: but i try not to think about that

yea

eff those ppl with mommy blogs

wait no

no eff them

hooray them! they are our potential markets

Nicole: those are our customers you are denouncing!!!

me: i know i know

it was in the heat of the moment

i apologize

i am sorry mommy blogs

i actually read mommy blogs

Nicole: our business plan alone will make the bestseller list

me: hmm

Nicole: i am a mommy blog and i'm not even a mommy (uh, or something like that)

me: nice

share this with no one

Nicole: are you kidding?! this is comedy gold!

me: yea youre right

this is so going in my blog

Nicole: and it will make us rich beyond our wildest dreams

lol

Nicole: mine too

me: i dunno

me: my dreams are pretty wild

Nicole: dear god, i'm going to go chug some nyquil and pretend i didn't have this conversation while sober

me: ooh

youre sober?

i want a drunk convo with u

Nicole: unfortunately

Nicole: i'll make sure to drunk IM you sometime

me: is that a threat?

Nicole: can't see the doctor until 5:00 pm tomorrow

me: eww

you should go over there

and sit in the office

and snot all over the place

Nicole: ooh, good idea

me: and then see if they take you

thats what i do

Nicole: live blogging from the waiting room

me: now i just go in there

and they take me

no line no waiting

im notorious

Nicole: it's my friend's mom and i still got the shaft appointmentwise!

me: no no notorious

Nicole: usually i can just show up

me: jeez

thats not cool

Nicole: are you the patient that causes them to all cringe when you walk in the door?

me: um

probably

im a good patient though

and i like going

i especially like the dentist

Nicole: F.R.E.A.K

i started a state investigation against my dentist

me: lol

no way

Nicole: He was trying to screw me over on billing

me: Oh no he d'int

Nicole: I sent a complaint to the department of professional regulation

me: wow! I wouldnt even know that place existed. See, this conversation has been educational also

Nicole: knowledge can be helpful!

me: yes

Nicole: damn we are efficient...we came up with a business and got some learning in all in one conversation

me: hey we are women

Nicole: true

alright, i'm really leaving now to drug myself and prepare crap for work tomorrow

me: ok feel better



TADA!