Thank you everyone for all of your, poignant, heartwrenching, interesting, yea that's it questions.
This took me forever to finish... So you all better read every single answer damnit!
Tarah Asks, Who do you predict to win the Super Bowl? What will be your best Ditka/Chicago Bears joke of the night?
Crap, I am late with this one, but.... I wanted DA BEARS to win, because IdespisethecoltsandPeytonManningandIdon'tcareifhedeservedtowin blah blah. But here is my all time favorite dialougue from the SNL Ditka Skits-
Bill Swerski: Now, gentlemen, let me ask you this: What if Da Bears were all 14 inches tall, you know, about so high? Now, what's your score of today's game?
Carl Wollarski: Against Da Giants?
Bill Swerski: Yes, give 'em a handicap.
Carl Wollarski: Bears 18, Giants 10. And that would finally be a good game.
Pat Arnold: Yeah, it would be a good game. Mini Bears 24, Giants 14.
Todd O'Conner: What about Ditka? Would he be mini, too?
Bill Swerski: No, he would be full-grown.
Todd O'Conner: Oh, then, uh.. Mini Bears 31, Giants 7.
Carl Wollarski: Oh, hold on. Then I change mine, too. I thought it was Mini Ditka.
Bill Swerski: Okay, gentlemen, another scenario: Da Bears, they don't make it, the plane is delayed.. and the only one who shows up is Ditka. Ditka vs. Da Giants. Okay, score, gentlemen.
Pat Arnold: Alright, after da heart attack, I gotta say Ditka 17, Giants 14. He just barely gets by.
Bill Swerski: Alright, that sounds exciting. Perhaps, you know, a late Ditka field goal.
Todd O'Conner: Bears!
Superfans: Bears!!
Nicole P Asks,
Who do you like better, me or Aimee?- Depends on the day. Today, you because you were actually at work to talk to me... not still off somewhere with you man friend and man's best friend celebrating your birthday. But tomorrow you never know, my opinion might change. It's a crap shoot really....
Chocolate or vanilla?- Vanilla
Are you really going to join us in Chicago in July?- DUH!
Will you find me a new job (not as a prostitute or stripper, so don't even think it)- Well are you qualified for anything else? I need more background information in order to answer this question.
Do you think I'll actually break a bone while attempting to snow board or will I just be extensively bruised?- Hmm. I think you will break more than one bone. But HAVE FUN!
Will you post a picture of you with your hair down?- No. Maybe when I get it trimmed, so whenever I win the lottery so that I can afford to go to my salon.
How do you count from 1-10 in the following languages: Swedish, German, Italian?- Do I look like a genius? (Don't answer that) I actually do know Italian and German, so here goes:
uno, due, tre, quattro, cinque, sei, sette, otto, nove, dieci
ein, zwei, drei, vier, fünf, sechs, sieben, acht, neun ( I don't know ten... Kettler help!)
You're on your own for swedish, why didn't you learn any when you went to IKEA last week?
Do you want to live in Boston forever? If not, where would you like to move?- No. But not sure yet. I would like to move around a bit before "settling down" which means having kids and actual responsibilities. Maybe Chicago, Portland, Oregon, Sacramento, who knows!
Coke or Pepsi products? Regular Pepsi is better than Coke, but I like diet coke with Lime, other than that I like Pepsi products.
If you could have your dirty way with any celebrity, who would it be? - oooh Keifer Sutherland but only if he was Jack Bauer because I think he's actually a pussy in real life
Will you buy my kitchen table and have it out of my apartment by Wednesday?- No, but I will buy the new coffee table that you just bought because its HOT!
Will you send me money because I’ve been shopping too much lately?- Did you juat read my answer to the long hair question?
Cheesecake: New York style or jello pudding style?- New York Style... I didn't know you could make cheesecake with jello pudding. However looking at the word jello creeps me out because I have this fear of the way jello moves. There is just nothing normal about that people.
Ari Asks,
how can you not like coke better than pepsi?- Because Coke sucks ass
what's your favorite eurotrash techno song? - Without a doubt the answer is Call on Me
can you feel your face today?- Yes, my legs now that's an entirely different story
pancakes or french toast?- Challah french Toast with cinnamon sugar... mmmm
when lost, turn right or turn left?- Right, because you can go right on red. That way you can panic but at least you're not sitting at a light panicking!
dial 1 before phone numbers on long distance calls on your cell phone?- YES! I don't know why I do, I never used to do it, I think I am afraid that I if I don't the FCC will take away my right to talk to people, which may or may not be a good thing.
nbc, cbs, abc, or fox?- Um None. Fox only when 24 or The Simpsons is on. NBC- For Deal or No Deal and Law and Order, otherwise its A&E, TLC, HGTV and CARTOON NETWORK.
number 8 or number 9?- 9 bitches
how many phonebooths in manhattan?- not that many anymore. Who doesn't have a cell phone now-a-days....? Oh but I did notice that they are now 50 cents! WTF!!
jet blue's change fee?- 50 bucks usually no? I don't know you and Jo are the change flights queen and king, so you should know the answer that one... way to waste my time.
which state are you least interested in visiting?- Arkansas I've heard its not so nice
wanna go to the olympics in beijing in 2008?- Sure, wanna pay the million dollars that it would take to go?
miller lite or bud light?- Miller LITE... You should NEVER drink a LIGHT beer.
captain or bacardi?- I am an expert at partying with the captain. Although, he still sneaks up on me. Sometimes he gets me drunk and sometimes he doesn't. Always keeps me guessing!
red or white?- dry white, unless its passover red then keep it coming! BLECH
give a man a fish or teach a man to fish?- teach him that way he can fish for me and bring me dinner every night. wooho women's lib!
how many days AFTER a march 24th wedding i have to attend outside st. louis does airtran airways begin service there from bwi?- I originally said March 25th, but you corrected me. AS USUAL
camden yards or pac bell park?-Yankee Stadium
why do i get such bad dry skin in winter?- Because you're jewish... JUST KIDDING. I am getting so much hate mail for that one.
will you tighten the loose button on my overcoat?- No. I.CAN'T. SEW. REMEMBER.
how come classico's sauce is better than barilla's, but barilla's pasta is better?- I am not even getting into this one, again.
how did i come up with so many useless questions?- Because I made you.
Nicole P. Asks, Why do we still celebrate Columbus Day even though he was a fraud?
Here is more about Columbus Day than anyone ever really needs to know: The Chicago World's fair was called the World's Columbian Exposition. The fair was supposed to, in part, commemorate and celebrate the 400th aniversary of Columbus discovering "The New World." The dedication ceremonies took play in late October of 1892 even though the fair didn't officially open to the public until the following spring. Closing day was the 30th of October 1893. It was supposed to be the last day of October but they forgot there was 31 days (how silly is that?). The holiday didn't exist before then and commemorates the closing day of the fair. For the dedication ceremony, nation why celebrations were planned and the country celebrated "Columbus Day" as a national holiday for the first time. (Thanks Tarah!)
But the real reason it's because we Americans love our ONE DAY ONLY SALES (!!!) and our 3- day weekends, where "Oh we have Monday Off!!? Yes let's go to Macy's and spendlotsofmoneybecauseohmygodlookIgotacouponfromyesterdayspaperandohmygoditexpirestoday!"
Melanie asks,
have sex with an albino who, screams out the verses to the star spangled banner...or have sex with jack nicolson circa 1972 but he would be in character from the shining?- My first instict is, Jack definatley because he was still sexy as a pscyho. But then I thought, "would he kill me after the sex was over?". Everytime I think Albino, I get the image of that guy from the DaVinci code in my head, so that pretty much kills it for me there. Ok, so my answer is Crazy Jack because scary angry sex is better than scary weird albino sex. Thank god my mom doesn't read this.
have my bridesmaid dresses pool blue or bubblegum pink?- Oh I forgot to tell you, I am busy on whateverdateyouareplanningtogetmarried.... just kidding POOL BLUE! You're not really thinking of bubble gum are you?
find out that your offspring will look like yettis or they will never be able to speak without having to first create a horrible lisp sound while spraying saliva onwhomever they are talking to? Wow, this question scares me. But I would have to say that I would rather my children looked like yettis because I can wax them to be smooth. Or sleek med spa them or something. You know what I mean. Oooh or I could sell pictures of them to tabloids and make money. So yes definitley the yettis.
have a tooth drilled with no novicane? or have a hole punched through your eyelid with anesthetic?- You are seriously DERRANGED MELANIE But- tooth. no explanation accept that I like my eyes the way they are
if i were to buy tim a man purse (aka murse), what color would best bring out his eyes?- his eyes are green somedays and blue another, so why don't you buy him a mood murse. That way it's all different colors!
if you could date one sexy sitcom star from the 80s who would it be?- SCOTT BAIO. I didn't even have to think twice about it, because I have been planning this for years.
if you were told that, for $1,000,000, you were only able to turn right when at a crossroads, would you do it? $10,000,000?- yes. I don't care if I was going in circles... I would eventually get somewhere. Then I would never drive again
if you were a sandwich meat, which would you be?- I would be...... whatever is the most popular so everyone would love me.
favorite snl character of all time? Mary Katherine Gallagher and the Ladies Man/Molly Shannon and Will Ferrell
if you ended up like tom hanks in the terminal, which restaurant in the airport do you think you would get sick of first?- The chinese one would probably make me the sickest so that one
if you could have a superpower, what would it be?- fly no question
ben or jerry (in the biblical sense)?- Both :) (EW I can't believe I thought that, wrote that and published it)
if you built and ark but could only choose 5 animal species to take with you which would you choose?- Dogs (for loyalty), Cows (for meat, milk and ice cream), Humans that kill cows (so I don't have to), Meer Cats (because why not) and that Human guy that I taught to fish (you know from earlier in this post, so I can eat fish too)
if you could go on air and slap any major news anchor and get away with it, who would it be?- Melanie told me only one... even though I think if I lined them up I could get the entire FOX 25 news team, including the annoying morning people..... but I guess if I could pick one of them it would be Maria Stephanos because she is extremely obnoxious.
if someone told you to streak at the super bowl and, criminally the worst that would happen is spend 5 days in jail, would you do it for $5,000,000? what if you ended up as the most popular hit on youtube?- Yes and Yes. I don't care. Sense a trend that I would do almost anything for some cold hard cash.
L Sass Asks,
What is your favorite alcoholic beverage?- Extra Dirty Martini with Kettle One and lots of olives
What is your favorite pair of shoes (picture, please)?
I couldn't choose.
Why the hell did you leave NYC for someplace even colder?- College, I thought that I would move back right after graduation, but I met a boy and yadda yadda you know.
In what ways are you like your mom / your dad? Who are you more like?- I worry like my mom, I look just like my mom. I have no patience, like my dad, I love sports like my dad, I swear a LOT..... I'm pretty much in the middle.
What is the worst job you had as a teen/college student?- Worst job? I liked every job I have had. Seriously, I worked as a lifeguard on the beach and pools for a really long time, so nothing to complain about. I guess I never took/ looked for a job that I knew I would hate.
Jennefer Asks, Do you think I should go to bed because it is after midnight and I have to get up REALLY early, but instead I am reading blogs and I just can't stop. Um that was a question, so ???- Jennefer- since you have one of the blogs that I
OKAY!
Let's NEVER DO THAT AGAIN! :)
4 comments:
My favorite part of this post is the shoes. Pictures of shoes improve any post!! You are off the hook for a 100 Things post for now, that was a very informative list!!
2 things:
1. You should never use 'pussy' as a derogatory term. Pussies are great and it is only appropriate if you're talking about PUSSY POWER!
2. You choose humans as two different animals on the ark. You still have another animal to pick.
This was awesome. But I think I will need audio clues for counting in the different languages.
Pepsi sucks, go Coke!
WAY too much to read...
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