Guest Post #5- Facebook WHAT!

Hello! This is Laurel of Sass Attack or, as Julie prefers to write it: Sass ATTACK! (I really love her way.)

Although I'm only a couple years older than Julie, she and I span an important generation gap. I like to call this schism the "UNDERSTANDING FACEBOOK DIVIDE." As a 2003 college graduate, social networking was unheard of during my college years. I dabbled Friendster and Myspace before Facebook really exploded among my age group.It now seems that Facebook is here to stay, and I certainly like the interface far better than any of those previous sites. Still, I somehow feel adrift in the land of the 'book.

Why? Because the rules of the Facebook game are made by the young. Specifically those, like Julie, who graduated from college in 2006 and had Facebook while they still undergrads.

My sister is also class of 2006. She "gets it." If my sister lived in the US, I'm sure she would help me with my difficult Facebook decisions. Unfortunately, my sister is a Peace Corps Volunteer in Namibia and only checks Facebook once a month or so. Not helpful.

Therefore, for all things Facebook-related, I turn to my Assistant. If Facebook were Mount Everest, Assistant (also an '06 grad) would be my sherpa. When I finally gave in and set up my account, she coached me through each step.

"No, don't put activities and hobbies, that's not cool."
"Don't friend too many people too fast, you don't want to look too available."
"Ugh, there were not so many applications back in the good old days."

The "don't friend too many too fast" rule, apparently, only applies to when you first join. After that, Assistant advocates friending anyone you've ever met, indiscriminately. She laughs at my dithering over whether so-and-so who I met at a party this weekend is worth friending. I'm thinking, Will I ever see this person again? Will we become real friends, worthy of Facebook? Will they think I'm coming on too strong? Assistant coaches me to quell this negative self-talk and send the request.

"Being friends on Facebook doesn't mean anything," she says, "It's fun. Do it!"

Assistant was proud of me when, after the bachelorette party I attended last weekend, I friended four new girls. In that case, I was a little more confident about my friending decision because: 1. We'd vowed while drunk that we'd become friends and 2. I had photos to share!

At noon today, however, I got my first real, hard-core Facebook test. Into my inbox popped the subject line: College Boyfriend added you as a friend on Facebook. College Boyfriend and I are not in touch. I wish him no ill will, but we don't hang out. I knew he was on the 'book. I'd searched him. (WHAT? YOU DO IT TOO! ADMIT IT!) I assumed he'd searched me, but figured our unspoken no-contact pact was still in effect.

"Psst..." I called Assistant over to my desk and pointed at the offending email.

"Ooh!" she said, "Now that he's requested you, we can see his limited profile!" (SEE HOW WISE SHE IS? I HAD NO IDEA THAT WAS THE CASE!)

Pretty standard. College boyfriend recently finished from grad school, his photo was sports-related, he has a cute-looking girlfriend.

So, then, what to do? Would accepting his friend request open the floodgates of conversation? Would he expect me to write on his wall? More importantly, would he email me if I just ignored his request? (Answer = Yes. I know this guy.)

"Oh please," Assistant said, "Just do it. But make him wait a couple hours."

Never one to refuse Assistant's advice, I did just that. I figure that if he wants to stalk me, let him go ahead. I have a pretty good life.

Hm. Just being "friends on Facebook" with an ex? No drama. I guess I'm getting the hang of this new technology after all.