Guest Post #4- Eating with Ed

Hello everyone! I’m Vanessa from Random Ramblings About My Crazy Life. I have held many jobs in my life (hence “crazy life”) but the one that gives me the most interesting stories is waiting tables. It’s a great skill and I have fallen back on it many times for extra cash. Besides, what other job allows you to interact with such a varied group of personalities?

Several years back, one of my regulars at an Italian restaurant was Ed. Ed was a single older gentleman who had been in the Korean war and lost half his hand. When I started waiting on him he had also had a stroke his dexterity had suffered greatly. He was a recovering alcoholic and was always offering to take me to AA meetings even though I rarely drank. He really was just lonely. Think Jack Nicholson in As Good as It Gets.

Ed had a very precise way of doing things and he wasn’t shy about letting anyone know. The ritual was always the same. He came in every day for lunch at exactly 11:25am. He had a certain table he liked to sit at and took it upon himself to inform management he expected that table every day at exactly 11:25am and I should be in that section every day to wait on him. No exceptions. Apparently in Ed’s world I was never supposed to get sick or have a day off and he complained bitterly each time I was absent and another server had to wait on him.

When he arrived he wanted a Diet Coke with a lemon wedge on a side plate waiting. He also wanted a salad with the lettuce cross-cut into small pieces although much of it ended up on the floor anyway. He liked a plate of tomatoes cut into bite size pieces waiting as well. Good for his prostate he always said. No bread, I was never to offer bread. I made the mistake twice and the entire restaurant heard about it, both times. Apparently in Ed’s world, bread will kill you with gluten and salt.

His entrée order was always the same, spaghetti with meat sauce and he liked it to be cut at the table. I always felt strange cutting a grown man’s food, but each time I reminded myself of his loneliness and inability to maneuver a fork to him mouth with any accuracy. He never left a speck of food in the bowl (the floor was another matter) and never wanted dessert.

The reward was great, his bill always totaled $17 and he always left a $15 tip. He also dispensed little bits of advice along the way. Sometimes his advice was just a tad off, much along the lines of “wear a helmet if you go to war”. Other times it was relevant to the point I felt like he was looking into my soul; things like “never stay with a guy who doesn’t make your heart sing. He has to be willing to do anything to be your everything, don’t let him get by with less.”

He also showed up with random gifts for me. Some small and insignificant like a coupon for a movie rental, other times huge expensive gifts. He gave me the most beautiful winter jacket and somehow guessed my size exactly. I told him I couldn’t take it; it was too expensive. Ed insisted saying I needed to keep warm and he didn’t want me getting sick because then I couldn’t come to work and wait on him. Oooooo-kay then. Beautiful winter coat it is!

I don’t know what ever happened to Ed but I hope he is somewhere smiling, giving ‘em hell in true Ed-like fashion.