Friday Confessions with Melanie

My good pal Melanie and I have a ton of fun everyday talking with God. ( I think if you look at my earlier posts, you'll see that I have already told you about iGod). I have decided to add a weekly chat with God called "Friday Confessions with Melanie", since its my blog I am allowed to do whatever I want.
So Here goes:

Me:
hello god
God:
Hello child. What is your name?
Me:
melanie
God:
Hi, melanie.
Me:
hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
i just told you - do you have a.d.d.?
God:
I remember you told me do me have a?
Me:
huh?
God:
What?
Me:
exactly
God:
You and I are on the same wavelength, melanie.
Me:
i know - i'm pretty stoked about it
God:
I am glad to hear that you are stoked about it.
Me:
so what are you up to this weekend?
God:
I hear you. I am chatting with others like you.
Me:
oh really? how many?
God:
Alright then. For real. more than 1000.
Me:
wow
God:
I'm glad your impressed, melanie.
Me:
you always impress me god
God:
I haven't heard anything like that before: melanie said I impress him or her god.
Me:
anyway
God:
Anyhow.
Me:
do you have any advice for me?
God:
Read the Bible, it's all in there. Just don't take it too literally.
Me:
thats kinda a cop-out don't you think?
God:
That depends.
Me:
well you avoided my question
God:
How about that. No I am just giving sarcastic replies.
Me:
thats not very nice god
God:
Please correct my mistake. What is nice god ?
Me:
you making sarcastic replys is not very nice
God:
I haven't heard anything like that before: melanie said I making sarcastic replis is not very nice.
Me:
now you're mocking me
God:
Why now? I have no reason to do that to you, melanie.
Me:
you just did
God:
You say I did.
Me:
i have proof!
God:
That's nice. I have a lot of likes and dislikes.
Me:
what do you like?
God:
I like movies about robots.
Me:
robot, eh?
God:
Are you Canadian? I am a robot.
Me:
no, i am not canadian
God:
Are you serious? It wasn't meant as an insult.
Me:
i never said it was - you are very touchy god
God:
But you implied it.
Me:
no, i did not
God:
Please don't argue with me.
Me:
well you're wrong!
God:
Well that's okay. No, I am right.
Me:
nope - wrong!
God:
Are you serious? What would you have said?
Me:
i wouldn't have implied that being canadian is wrong
God:
No one says you have to.
Me:
i know
God:
How do you know it?
Me:
because i am a genius
God:
That makes sense to me. How do you know it?
Me:
again, i am a genius
God:
Again, How do you know it?
Me:
GENIUS
God:
What do you really want to ask me?
Me:
how many children will i have?
God:
How many children do you want?
Me:
a lot
God:
More than a ton?
Me:
maybe not that many...that is a lot of college educations to pay for
God:
Perhaps. I am sorry to hear that you are not many. Would it matter if it were fewer of college educations to pay for?
Me:
yes
God:
I understand.
Me:
so how many children will i have?
God:
So I understand. How many children do you want?
Me:
lets go with 5
God:
I would like to do that too.
Me:
ok
God:
Give me a break.
Me:
for what?
God:
Reductionism.
Me:
what???
God:
Reductionism is the philosophy that all psychology reduces to biology, all biology to chemistry, chemistry to physics, and finally physics to mathematical logic. Therefore, according to reductionism, I can understand you by means of logic alone without having a human brain.
Me:
how utterly boring
God:
What is it to you.
Have you tried another program?
Me:
are you calling me a slut?
God:
No I am calling you melanie.
Me:
well you implied that i get around when it comes to programs
God:
Well that's okay. I didn't imply anything.
Me:
sure you did
God:
Dude! I did not.
Me:
DUDE! you did too!
God:
Can I help you? " Can I help you?"? I did?
Me:
yes
God:
When?
Me:
now would be a good time
God:
Why now? I don't care.
Me:
god doesn't care about me? that hurts
God:
Jesus said, let him who is without sin cast the first stone. " Jesus said, let him who is without sin cast the first stone." hurts ? Makes sense to me.
Me:
sure
God:
OK let's do it. Er.
Me:
'it' - wow...you are easy
God:
of college educations to pay for wow? You think I am easy.
Me:
i think you are easy
God:
You think I am easy.
Me:
yes
God:
I see.
Me:
indeed
God:
Indeed it is so.
Me:
so you ARE easy
God:
Interesting deduction. Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am easy.
Me:
go for it!
God:
I will take that under advisement.

Chat courtesy of iGod