9.12.2007

First We Kill The Architects

NY Times- Sept. 9, 2007
Danny Lyon

I have been asked to help design a city. I am flattered. In the past, this was the job of emperors and kings. Of course, today, things are a bit more complicated. Having benefited from a New York City public school education and 65 years of life, and with the peace of mind necessary for clear thought that I have now, living on my farms, where I raise my own vegetables and fish, I recommend the following.

1. First we kill the Architects.
2. Then we burn the malls. (Following Alexander's example, we spare the bookstores and movie theaters, as he spared Pindar's house and library when he burned Thebes).
3. Tax breaks and cash incentives for all small businesses willing to build on the ashes or set up shop in downtowns.
4. Bicycle use to be encouraged.
5. Only electric powered vehicles allowed. (Many cities in China have already banned motorcycles. Only electric ones are allowed).
6. Leave the World Trade Center excavation exactly as it is and use the space as a fresh water pond, planted with pink, white and yellow water lilies. Stock it with bass, sunnies, fat head minnows and turtles. Fishing for children under 12 only. (The fresh water can be piped in underground from Beckman's Swamp, which is buried under the streets just to the east). A small statue of Voltaire shall be installed there, too.
7. Ten percent of all city space shall be open land where you can "touch the dirt". If there is not enough room, we can demolish the banks and turn them into fields of native grasses and flowers. One- quarter of open space shall be for growing vegetables.
8. Pets allowed in all buildings.
9. Cell phone police with sashes embroidered "Cell phone police".
10. Tax incentives and cash awards up to $10, 000 for each person brought over from the Other Side. Any citizen who befriends a criminal prostitute or drug addict and/or pusher and through that friendship, example employment or encouragement makes that person into a useful and non predatory citizen, shall receive that amount. There is no limit on the number of people you can bring over from The Other Side, nor the amount you can earn in this socially beneficial program. Good Luck.
I read this in the NY Times this weekend and loved it.
Click the Link to see a larger picture.


What do you think?
If you were asked to design a city what would it look like?
What policies would you enforce?


7 comments:

L Sass said...

More accordion playing in the subway!

That is one of the best features of Paris.

Less people who are just asking for money. More entertainment!

Janet said...

I dunno about ALL pets in ALL buildings. Smelly!

I would outlaw horns in cars, and ESPECIALLY cabs.

Bruce said...

Just came across your blog. As a Yankees fan who used to live in Boston I know your pain.

Lindsey said...

Lots of walking trails near office buildings. I like to walk on my lunch break and I always have to find places to walk. Luckily there are neighborhoods not far from the retirement community.

Also, free Starbucks for all!

inowpronounceyou said...

Great, great artcile. Thanks for sharing...

Here we go Yankees!

The Ex said...

More Mad Max style clothing. Less focus on "success" and more focus on "mediocre". This achieving thing is really annoying.

Stepping Over the Junk said...

#2 and #4 are my favorites. Biking in the dead of winter would stink though.