Today's lesson is SUPER useful to all of yous out there that are hating on my theme.
So HA!
Cameriere, ci puo portare il conto per favore?
cah-mayr-ee-air chee pwoe [ohrt-ahr eel cohn-toe pehr fahv-ohr-ay
Waiter, will you bring us the check please?
cah-mayr-ee-air chee pwoe [ohrt-ahr eel cohn-toe pehr fahv-ohr-ay
Waiter, will you bring us the check please?
Okay.
Now onto bigger and more important things.
WTF is wrong with people???
When it rains do people just "go stupid"? I don't understand.
For example, Here are some rules to remember while walking anywhere in my general vicinity with an umbrella:
1. DO NOT walk with your head down and/or hidden behind your Burberry pashmina or whatever other fcuking luxury scarf that you happen to have on today.
2. DO NOT attempt to walk right beside me or try to pass me while carrying an umbrella. I will elbow you right in the junk (or baby maker if you have those parts).
3. Do I know you?? Are we intimate? Then DO NOT try to share my umbrella with me while I am waiting for the "walk" signal so that I can cross the street.
4. If you are a douchebag then just wear a raincoat with a hood because generally you will never be able to follow any of these rules.
Do you have any rules of your own to add to this list??
(Melanie I know you do)
Now onto bigger and more important things.
WTF is wrong with people???
When it rains do people just "go stupid"? I don't understand.
For example, Here are some rules to remember while walking anywhere in my general vicinity with an umbrella:
1. DO NOT walk with your head down and/or hidden behind your Burberry pashmina or whatever other fcuking luxury scarf that you happen to have on today.
2. DO NOT attempt to walk right beside me or try to pass me while carrying an umbrella. I will elbow you right in the junk (or baby maker if you have those parts).
3. Do I know you?? Are we intimate? Then DO NOT try to share my umbrella with me while I am waiting for the "walk" signal so that I can cross the street.
4. If you are a douchebag then just wear a raincoat with a hood because generally you will never be able to follow any of these rules.
Do you have any rules of your own to add to this list??
(Melanie I know you do)
9 comments:
God I have so many things to add. This time of year makes everyone so pissed off.
What is your "gernal vicinity"? Is that a reference to your girl parts that I don't need to know about?
How about, "On the bus or subway, do not lean your wet umbrella up against other passengers." HATE.
oh julie - how right you are...
1. DO NOT, under any circumstances, think that i feel anyway sorry for you that you forgot your umbrella...you are the schmuck who decided not to bring one today (apparently ignoring all weather forecasts for the past 2 days) - I WILL NOT BE SHARING MINE WITH YOU!!!
2. there is a 96% chance that i am taller than you...making the height of your umbrella covering your pinhead in line with my eye level - i like my two functiong eyes and would like to remain at that status.
3. when shaking off water from a used umbrella - SHAKE AWAY FROM PARTONS AROUND YOU - sounds simple and obviosu enough, but apparently it isn't...
4. when on public transportation, keep wet umbrells down towards the floor - not in your hands or hanging from your bag where they can drip on everyone around you.
that's all i can think of now...considering all of those things happened to me this morning...
I knew that she would have more.
Can I just say, I LOVE this Italian theme for the month. I should be writing these down or something. I sound like such a dick when I'm trying to say them with a dodgy accent. ;)
I hate idiots in the rain. Especially drivers.
Damn it! It is only the 6th of November! That means I still have more days of this dumb theme. I think I am going to dedicate every day to a way you could say these things in italy WITHOUT saying them in italian.
Today's lesson: need the check? Smile, make the check-mark signal with your fingers.
ohhhh umbrellas.
Do not open or close them towards someone.
Watch where you're effing going! There are sharp things on the end of your umbrella and I have eyes and a face.
Just because I do not have an umbrella does not mean I forgot it. I'm opposed to them in the city in crowded areas because people don't know how to use them.
Thanks for making me walk on the street because you're taking up the hole effing sidewalk for your golf umbrella.
Learn to pass each other. One umbrella goes up, the other goes down. Simple.
Open and close your umbrella just outside the door. The vestibule is too small and inside too crowded. Unless you're the Wicked Witch of the West, you'll live with a second or two of rain.
...there's more, but just that is making me tense and twitchy.
Damn people really vented away on here. There is nothing I can think of off hand that really pisses me off, but trust me, there are many things that piss me off. I can't believe people try to share your umbrella with you. That is ridiculous!
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