The People vs. KGB ***

*KGB the text messaging answer service- not the Russian Security Organization.

**SPOILER ALERT**
The following may give away information if you watch the TV Show "The Deadliest Catch".

Have you heard of KGB?
The service where for 99 cents (USD) you can text them a question (to 542-542) and they will send you a response. I have used this service, even though I have an iPhone, because it's fast and sometimes I like asking them obscure questions like... "what color shirt do I have on"- which they have guessed correctly by the way- creepy.

Moving on.
Yesterday my friend Dustin put up a Gchat status that said "KGB just answered one of my questions incorrectly... I'm working on getting a free T-shirt".
Of course I had to know what happened.

me: HA! what question did you ask?

10:18 AM Dustin: deadliest catch spoiler alert first.

you see last night's episode/ do you watch?

me: i do

but i usually catch the replay

Dustin: so should I answer?

10:19 AM me: yea yea

Dustin: I asked what's the name of the episode of deadliest catch where phil harris dies

and they answered "empty throne," which was last night

10:20 AM but he ended the episode in surgery, and makes an appearance in the next episode.

me: oooh snap

Dustin: yeah

Now. Most people, at least I think most people, may have just let this go.
Dustin however, wrote the company an e-mail. Which he then forwarded to me- and with his permission, I am posting here for all of the internet to see.

From: Dustin [mailto:contact@kgb.com]
Sent: Wednesday, June 30, 2010 7:46 AM
To: SMS Customer Service
Subject: Incorrect Answer

Name: Dustin
Subject: Incorrect Answer
URL: http://superbowl.kgb.com/

Body:

One of your answers was incorrect. I asked "What's the name of the Deadliest Catch episode where Phil Harris dies?", and your agent responded "Empty Throne," along with the showtimes for yesterday. Phil is actually still alive in the next episode, "Cain and Abel," shown on the previews last night.

Instead of a refund, I would much prefer a KGB t-shirt, size XXL.


On Wed, Jun 30, 2010 at 2:34 PM, SMS Customer Service
<SMS.CustomerService@kgb.com> wrote:
Dear Dustin,

We are sorry for your wrong answer. You may email us your cell number that used our service or you may also go to http://542542.com/refunds and we will be happy to issue you a free credit. We are unable to issue t-shirts.

We would also like to look into the Agent that was responsible for sending a wrong answer so that we may contact their manager.

We look forward to your reply and hope that you will give us a second chance.

Thank you,

kgb_ Customer Service

From: Dustin [mailto:contact@kgb.com]
Sent: Wednesday, June 30, 2010 3:22PM
To: SMS Customer Service
Subject: Incorrect Answer

Thank you anyway. I appreciate your desire for quality control and accuracy, but I use your service exclusively for entertainment purposes and initiating corrective actions against your agents isn't in the spirit of things. Don't worry, I still plan on using you in the future, shirtless or fully clothed.
-D

::Chuckling::

Daddy's Little Girl

I know.
I've been gone too long.
I need to tell you about my trip over the pond.
Yes. I know.

But internet.
Something BIG has happened this week.
(No, I am not engaged)
Whatever it's bigger than THAT anyway.
Yes I know what could possibly be bigger than that.

Remember my friend Ari?
I post about him often enough, so you should by now...
At 5:51pm on Monday December 1st, he became a DADDY to a beautifully healthy and adorable baby girl Jillian Emma.

I. KNOW.

Since he called me on Monday to tell me the good news, I have been calling friends and family and sharing my joy with everyone. I even put a little message up as my gchat status.

I wanted to share with you the reponses I have gotten.
Because well, they're pretty damn funny.

Daniel: Ari is a father?

Oh jesus.

Oh god no.

It's all over.

Sarah: Ari

Ari's a father?

to unborn baby??

me: no

to a BORN baby


All the rest have just been Mazel Tovs and wonderful wishes....
I'm so excited to see her when I head down to DC in a few months!!

Okay, I promise a post or maybe two about London next week.
Thankyouverymuch

Very Special Birthday.

Most of you already know my best friend Ari.
Some of you have even told me that you feel like you know him personally because of all of the posts I have written about him.

Feel free to catch up by reading the award winning series of posts that I wrote all about our friendship:

Let me Tell you 'Bout my Best Friend- Part 1, 2, 3, 4, 5.

Are you back??? I told you that was good stuff!

Today is Ari's 25th birthday!
Yeaa!!
::Applause and Cheers::

And of course what would a birthday be without some embarrassing photos!
Ari, you still reading?? ;)
Good.

First things first:

This is Ari's "party face".

This is Ari's "I'm too cool for pictures" face.

Hey Ma! Did you know that Ari drinks Sprite?

Of course the infamous shopping cart picture needed to show today.

Oh boy.

So there you have it! Happy happy 25th Ari! Hope you have a great day today! See you in Chicago on the 25th!

He may kill me for this one.

Huh?

OOOH LAST WEEK!!!!
WHERE ARE YOU?
OLLY OLLY OXEN FREEEEEEE!!!!

What day is it?
Oh, Tuesday.
Grand.


I don't know what's going on, but I do not remember a thing that has happened since the last time I posted.

Although I do believe that Mother Nature got my note because it's definitely fall outside.
And guess who is totally not dressed appropriately today?
Yep.

Okay, I leave you with a funny conversation between me and Ari from earlier today.
(Background info: My mother is italian and my father is jewish- therefore in college people called me pizza bagel... which then turned into bagel bites and has now become hot pocket)

me: i just panicked bc the place i would love to get married at in boston is closing in nov 08but then i saw how expensive it was

so im fine
Ari: are you getting married between now and november 2008

that came out of nowhere and i entirely missed it

me: oh no

well not that i planned to

but the place that i love love is getting sold

10:54 AM Ari: what is it

10:57 AM me: http://www.gamblemansion.org/gambleframe.html

11:00 AM but actually the more i look at it the less i like it lol

Ari: its a nice lookin place

me: eh

11:01 AM

it seems to classy for me

Ari: hahaa

me: i just dont know what my style would ever be

Ari: it would be a pizza bagel theme

11:02 AM me: ok

explain

11:03 AM Ari: yummy food

the hora

chair thing

me: um

Ari: good wine

opera music

me: i dont think were doing the hora at my wedding

11:04 AM

youre crazy

Ari: tim would buy in

and then communion

me: buy in?

11:05 AM like in poker?

Ari: he'd be big blind

11:06 AM you can be little

and i get to see my cards before i bet

me: uh ok

when would all this happen?

11:08 AM Ari: thats up to you

but i would avoid passover

Catching Up

This week off has been anything but a vacation.
I don't know why, but I decided that I should work some extra hours at my part time job while I was off this week. So I have been busy. I wasn't just avoiding you all... like you thought I was.

First things first.
I know that I am really late posting this but....
My favorite Sassy Mc Sass Laurel and I met up for amazing (but filling) Cuban food.
And yes, my bodyguard and friend Ali accompanied me... because hey well you never know.
(More like, I was staying with Ali that night, and I wanted to hang out with her also)

Look! How Pretty!


My boobs look HUGE in this dress!


Blury... but this is for you Laurel!

I really had a good time sitting, chatting and drinking (Sangria for me Mojitos for her) with the Sass. She's definitely someone that I would meet up with for Happy Hour on a weekly basis.

Thanks for popping my blog friends meeting in real life cherry Laurel!
Ooooh that sounds so dirty.

Got ::hic::Hiccups? ::hic::

Me: i have the hiccups
LK: ok
LK: drink water backwards
Me: what?
Me: how the hell do i do that?
LK: drink water from the other side of the glass
LK: or the side that is farthest from you
Me: im drinking through a straw
LK: fine
LK: do what you want
Me: no ive been hiccuping all day HELP ME
LK: you are like the hiccup girl that was on the Today show
LK: seriously, drink water from the other end of the glass
Me: how do i do that if its in a naglene and im drinking out of the straw!
LK: cant help ya then. i give up
Me: you cannot give up!
Me: you're the Supreme Ruler
Me: of the WORLD!
LK: LOL
LK: watch me
Me: come on
Me: oh wait a second
Me: i think
Me: they re gone!!
Me: arguing with you made them go away!

*************************************************************************************

LK showed me this website also. The wonders of google people.
What are your hiccup (hiccough) cures??

My Vaction in Pictures Part One

My minication (read as my mini-vacation) was tons of fun.
Atlanta is an awesome city.
The back roads of Alabama were all that I dreamed of and more.
The Florida beaches are gorgeous.
And I got the worst sunburn that I have ever received in my entire life.

Since I have so much to talk about, I figured I would break everything up into days.
So today is Day Uno, Saturday July 14th.

Friday night after working both of my jobs, I met up with Tim and our friends Alex and Dustin to see and 11:15pm showing of Harry Potter- The Order of the Phoenix.

The movie got out around 130am, and we got home around 2am.

Oh wait. Back up.
Did I forget to mention that I had a 6am flight out of Boston to Atlanta?
After about 2 hours of sleep, Alex came back to my apartment and drove me to Logan.
Needless to say I slept the entire 2.5 hour flight.

Immediately after I was picked up from the airport, (by the infamous Ari & Joanna, and our friend Phil), I was whisked away to probably one of the best southern breakfasts (at this place called The Flying Biscuit) that I have ever eaten in my life.

Ari and Joanna


My Southern Omelette- Collard Greens & Bacon with Creamy Grits


Organic Oatmeal Pancakes with Georgia Peaches

Stupid Ari Face and Me

We spent most of the day downtown at the Georgia Aquarium.
Did you know that they have 4 WHALE SHARKS at this Aquarium??? They are HUGE!
There were also 4 Beluga Whales, Three of which are on loan from the New York Aquarium in Coney Island. (My old stompin' grounds).
While I was there I may or may not have seen the whales trying to continue their species.
Let's just say, it was HUGE!

Touch it tank... with SHARKS!


Jo and I under a Tank


Ari's Selfie

The World Of Coke

The line for the World of Coke was too long. So we hung out in Centennial Park until it was time to go home and get ready to head out to dinner with Phil and his family.

Yep.


Olympic Torch

First and Last time I ever wear leggings.

The rest of the night was spent playing Wii (which I now need to survive) and lounging in the hot tub.


Tomorrow- Day 2.

Where the Playas Play.

Apparently I'm gangsta.

Tomorrow morning I am headed to Hotlanta to meet up with the infamous Ari and Joanna for a wonderful break from Boston. We're all meeting up in Atlanta, where our friend Phil lives (for now) and spending the whole day Saturday doing touristy stuff before getting up early on Sunday morning to drive the Alabama back roads (think Deliverance) towards Florida.

Oh don't worry... I will have my camera out and on the ready. Don't you worry.
I'll be back on Wednesday, so don't miss me too much.
**************************************************************************************
Last night, I called Tim's bar to say goodnight.
The phone rang about 15 times, before someone answered,

"Hello?"
"Um. Can I talk to Tim please?"
"Uh Who?"
"THE MANAGER... DO YOU EVEN WORK THERE???"
"No I don't. Hold on though, I'll try to find him".

Needless to say, he hung up on me.

************************************************************************************

Finally... Good luck to my kickball team!
My trip gets me home just in time to miss our first playoff game.
But I have the utmost confidence in all of them that they will win!
The other captain and I ordered wristbands for our team to wear and they finally came in today.

GO AMISH!

I know, you're all jealous.

See you Wednesday!

I am so ::cough cough:: excited... And I just can't ::cough sneeze cough:: hide It!

My blog- twin Aly (heart), has given me this:
And so I say thank you thank you thank you.
Although lately I don't think I deserve it.

Here are five other rocking girls that deserve this too!



Alex over at Happily Ever Now. This girl is free spirited, brave and funny. What more could you ask for? Good luck in SB!

Monika at Playtime with Monika. Eventhough she hasn't posted in almost a week. It was her birthday week though, so she's off the hook.... for now.

Janet at Love is Blonde. You know how cool you are. :)

Emily!!!!! And Yes, we are on Cops again darlin'.

Melanie from Confessions of a Shoe Slut. I know this girl. She is just as funny and punchy in person. And she calls me Woman.
************************************************************************************

General Housekeeping:

Tim's sister got married this weekend.
Thus starting the "Summer of Weddings".
One down. Six to Go.
I am exhausted and coming down with something bad and nasty.
I will post pictures later.
Unless I die.

Which would suck.
Because I am meeting Ari in Atlanta this weekend.
Oh and I would be dead.

Hopefully some nice person whose name starts with an M and ends with an Onika will want to work for me tonight/ switch days. Just sayin'.

"Beverage Warmers" Are Forever

monika: okay so remember last night i said there is a guy who just rented an apt in my building and i think he likes me

me: yea the rich guy?

monika: yea, he just gave me a "beverage warmer"

me: a coozie?

monika: like a little hot plate for a cup

me: weird

why did he do that?

monika: i don't know... bc hes in love with me obvi

me: so youre telling me

this guy has hundreds of thousands of dollars

and he got you a beverage warmer?

monika: um yeah

he did say "its not expensive or anything but i thought you might want it"

me: i think you're more of diamonds girl

monika: yeah def

me: obvi

Lunch or Porn?

If the following conversation does not make you want to be friends with me even more than you already do then there is just no pleasing you people.

DF: i love lunch
Me: i love lamp
DF:Do you really love lamp, Julie, or are you just picking things in the room and saying that you love them?
Me: why do u love lunch
DF: because it's a great meal
DF:there are so many things you can do for it
Me: i agree
Me: i love eating a big lunch
DF: and it's always easily prepared
Me: or bought
DF: right
DF: today i am trying to decide whether i want Velveeta, or soup and bagel bites
Me: man
Me: all of the above
DF: and im eating pita chips and hummus while i think about it
DF: im leaning towards velveeta
Me: now is it velveeta or shaws brand
DF: velveeta. I got it at costco
DF: ok so if you were me, velveeta or soup&bagelbites
DF: i am going to add things to the velveeta
Me: like what
DF: tuna...for protein
Me: i add tuna to mine all the time
Me: its like tuna casserole
DF: ok thank god
DF: most people go "EWWW YOU'RE GROSS"
Me: those people are idiots
DF: because they've never tried it
Me: a wise man introduced that mix to me a few years ago
Me: and im thankful
Me: its so good
DF: was that wise man Tim?
Me: no... Ari
DF: ahh yes
DF: the man behind the man
Me: so you have heard of him....
DF: ok so could we have the judge's decision please?
Me: god lean cuisines for lunch suck
Me: im so effing hungry
DF: lean cuisines are so weak I wish one of those filled me up
Me: yea i think i'm going to go get sushi
Me:me too
DF: sushi is incredible
DF: do you like the hardcore stuff or the regular stuff
DF: 'm talking about sushi, not pornography
Me: i like a lot of sushi
DF: do you like all the fish and eel and octopus and that stuff
Me: well i eat octopus and eel but prepared in italian ways but not sushi
DF: I see
Me: and on the subject of porn..
Me:hardcore is the only porn thats respectable
Me: seriously
Me: i mean
Me: i don't watch it
Me: but if i did
Me: i would watch hardcore
DF: You just can't half-ass it, I hear ya.
Me: like go all the way or go home
DF: I think after eating the pita chips I am leaning towards soup & bagel bites
DF: i might be too full for velveeta & tuna
Me: well... what kind of soup?
DF: chicken noodle and beef barley are my choices
Me:and are the bagel bites pepperoni?
DF: beef barley
Me: done
Me: done
Me: no more discussion
DF: ok so lunch is decided
DF: thank you for your assistance
Me: Hey no problem.

Yeah Tarah, It's Just like that.

Tarah: hey...have you gotten your lease renewal yet/when does that usually happen?

me: i called my landlord in february

but i dunno

i was just nervous and i wanted him to know we were staying

Tarah: hmm. maybe I'll call soon. but it's a management company...so I guess I just call and ask

me: yea... i would do that

Tarah: haha I get nervous too. Like, I think I got mine in may or june last year....but it's like right before you get your period where you know you should get it, there's not much cause you shouldn't (due to lack of sex or abundant measures taken to be safe) but you always get a little nervous right before

me: lol

blog

Tarah: oh jesus

Tarah: oh jesus...your readers are going to think I'm nuts

me: not nuts

funny

me: most of my readers nuts anyway

Being a Grown Up Stinks.

My friend Michaela is from Nantucket.
When I first met her I thought that was the coolest thing ever. I never knew anyone that actually lived there, heck I've never even been there.
We were the same major in college, so we were together a lot.
We went to class together, we partied together, we went to Red Sox games together... you get the point.


During one of the few summers I spent in class, we had this horrid 8am Respiratory Therapy class that lasted for 3 hours! Three HOURS! Twice a week! Over the summer!

One hot June morning, I noticed that Michaela hadn't shown up. I didn't think much of it because well the class sucked. The room the class was in was sort of like a computer lab so we each got our own computer. Needless to say I (and most of my classmates) spent the entire class on the internet and on AIM Express talking to each other.

That morning, I got an IM from Michaela saying that she was heading to the beach and that she would meet me in front of my apartment in 45 minutes. After some chatting back and forth and wondering how I was just going to go about gathering my things and leave class without the professor saying something, I was convinced. Not a moment later my professor left the lab to run to his office for something. I seized the opportunity, shut off my computer, grabbed all of my stuff and ran out of the building all the way back to my apartment.

At 1015, she was downstairs honking her horn and ready to go.

Since graduation, I haven't hung out with her that much. She's busy with grad school and well you know I'm just lazy. But we see each other occasionally and still chat to catch up.

Today it's supposed to hit 80 degrees here in Boston.
At 9am I got a text message from Michaela

M: "Are you off today?"
Me: " No, why want me to cut out and head to the beach?"
M: " Yes, :). Going to the gym now. Pick you up at 11:30?"
Me: "I can't, I wish I could".
M: "Bummer, call me later".

God I hate being a grown up.

Thanks Aimee!

Internet! Look what got delivered just this second at work!


WOOHOO!
Can't wait to start it this weekend!
Thank you Aimee for the postcard.

Oh and another thanks to Aimee for introducing this website to me.
Because I have done nothing but that since I got to work.
:)

Tim- If you're reading, I like this one the best.

Don't worry, he doesn't visit here unless I make him.

What did you say about my Mama!

On my desk at work I have a "page-a-day" calendar of Italian phrases.
Every morning when I open my gmail, I write the Italian phrase underneath my status for the day. This started mainly for Ari, because he enjoyed attempting to translate them. But now most of my friends comment on the phrase over g-mail chat.

This morning's phrase is "Ho mancato il mio treno" (I missed my train).

Tarah: what about a 'ho on your train?

me: depends were you on my train this morning

OOOOHHH!!!!

I DISSED YOU!!

Tarah: No, but your mom was!

Ohhhhh snap!

me: oh man

that never gets old

Tarah: I gotta say, I'm happy it doesn't

It's the little things Internet. The little things.

We're Both A little Sick.

I had the following conversation with my friend Jason this morning. I told him that I NEEDED to blog about this, but that I would change names to protect the innocent.

Ooops.
Lurve you!

Jason: did you hear that that sicko from VT sent a package to the news?
Jason: so gross
Jason: he makes me ill
Me: i saw everything
Me: you know
Me: on the today show
Me: i watch everyday to see what Matt Lauer is wearing
Jason:bitch, you stole that from me
Jason: and HELLO
Jason: pictures of him shirtless on the beach are on the net, he is a hottie
Me: duh thats why i said it
Me: EW matt lauer?
Me: i just threw up a bit
Jason: no - mr. six pack and pecs, hello
Jason:guys is wripped
Me: ok you lost me
Me: whos mr six pack
Me: matt lauer?
Jason: YES
Jason: who the hell else would i be talking about?
Me: MATT LAUER!!
Jason:guys is a good looking man. ... he and Brian Williams should get it on
Me: you're sick

How to Make a 25 Year Old's Day

Those of you who read this blog regularly know that my long term live in man- friend, Tim, who I will refer to as Red, turned 25 this past February. We had a nice big party for him at the local "arcade" complete with pitchers of beer, bumper cars, old school arcade games (including but not limited to: "Crusin' World, Daytona 500, Simpsons, and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles), and thousands of prize tickets which lead to something I named the Wild Wild West Shoot Out '07, that occurred in my living room later on that night.

You would think that all of these things would leave his satisfied. But NOOOO, something was missing. What? What could possibly be missing? I mean seriously, booze, cake, games, tokens, BEER PONG, Ari in from D.C.?

WHAT WAS MISSING????

I'll show you what was missing.

Yesterday in the mail, I received the final piece of the birthday puzzle.

Ari bought Red this Jersey for his birthday.

But alas, it did not arrive on time for him to bring it with him to the festivities.
He was so happy yesterday that he jumped up and down when he opened it up, and proceeded to put it on right then and there.

This post's for you Ari.
Thanks for making Red's day.

Now STFU about your birthday Tim.
I mean I love you baby.

Keep on Truckin'

Kate: $100 tip for a garage guy?
Me: yea i know the parking attendant one blew me away
Me:but in NYC if you can afford a monthly spot in a garage every day then you can afford it
Kate: i'd live in my car in the garage
Me: my aunt and uncle have one
Me: they pull up in the car and the guy parks it for them
Me: and when they go to get it he brings it to them
Kate: ok well ic an see tipping that
Me: they also wash and clean it
Kate: see ok
Kate: but when they just stand there and block the door...
Kate: they get nothing
Me: garages are like prime real estate in NYC
Kate: my mom keeps wanting to get me an SUV
Me: does she want to pay your gas and insurance?
Kate: that's what i said
Kate: i told her last time i need gas efficiency
Me:i want a hybrid
Kate: well she's getting me a used
Kate: and hybrids are still pretty new tech
Kate: i really want a diesel
Me:ew why?
Kate: cause they burn cleaner, the engines last longer, and they get way better mileage
Kate: all around more efficient
Me:would you get a trucker hat too?
Kate: not a fucking truck
Kate: like a diesel vw or something
Me: lol
Kate: and ps
Kate: i look awesome in trucker hats
Me: jesus

Why Tarah and I are Friends.

Please. Before reading the following conversation, go to this website and watch the "We Have Time" Commercial.
I promise you, the rest of this post will make much more sense if you just do what I say.

Tarah:Virgin Radio is playing The Final Countdown by Europe

this really is like, the best statione ver

2:26 PM and they just played Like a Record, Baby

me: whats that damian rice again?

2:27 PM Tarah: hahahaha what?

like who is he? other than my lover?

2:28 PM me: lol was i right?

Tarah: yes, this is the radio station I heard his second song on

me: uh huh

2:29 PM Tarah: but it's friday night night for them

so they're playing "party classics"

me: oh weird

Tarah: why?

they broadcast out of the uk

me: i know

but its weird

2:30 PM bc its light out here

2:31 PM Tarah: hahhaa yeah

that's what bothers me about those jimmy dean commercials

cause the sun doesn't wake up and make breakfast in time to light the eastern seaboard

because it's light other places

me: LOL

2:33 PM Tarah: haha yes, I think about these things

me: well i always though it was weird that the sun was cooking

and had kids

2:34 PM Tarah: that weren't little suns?

2:35 PM

like, if the sun was going to have kids, wouldn't they resemble him at least a little?

you know, fiery orb and all

It's that Time of Year Again.

Today is Kate's birthday.
Last year it was dressing up fancy and drinking out of pails.
Tonight we walk the plank and get wasted.


Happy Birthday you Pain in the Arse.
And I mean that in the sincerest of ways.